Santa's Little Helper
by Starquilter57
Summary: Chapter 3. The Relative's Revenge!
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Star Trek, I don't make any profit, and it's just a cryin' shame!

**Santa's Little Helper**

The day had certainly not gone as planned. In fact, the Enterprise's first Christmas Eve in space literally stunk! A circuitry malfunction in the communications lab caused a fire, filling the small space with thick, black smoke which spilled into the corridor. Nyota and three co-workers had to be treated for smoke inhalation. Many hands would be working extra shifts to repair the damage.

Bones kept Nyota in sick bay for seven hours, despite her protests and Spock hovering over her like a mother hen. Eventually they both got on his nerves so badly that he decided to release Nyota a little early, giving Spock a long list of instructions. Bones copied it all to a PADD and gave it to Spock, along with her medications. He ordered a wheelchair for Nyota and then issued Spock a few more instructions.

"Don't get carried away with your celebrations. Nothing that involves heavy breathing this evening, if you get my drift. Nyota, you need plenty of rest and fluids. You're confined to quarters for the next forty-eight hours."

"But I'll miss the Christmas party! I won't get to see you, Scotty and the Captain singing drunken Christmas carols. I probably won't get any of the spiked eggnog, either."

"You'll live. Spock will bring you some party food. You can sit on Santa's lap next year. Okay, the both of you need to get out of here. Take your giant Christmas elf and leave!"

As Spock pushed his bond-mate out of sickbay, he met McCoy's scowl with a slight one of his own. "Giant elf, indeed. Any resemblance I might bear to such a creature is purely superficial. Also, I do not possess green slippers with bells on the toes." Spock had seen Pavel and Hikaru's North Pole mural in the Officer's Lounge. The elves depicted upon it looked suspiciously Vulcan.

Nyota erupted into giggles. It was good to hear her laugh. Perhaps, just this once, he might put his Vulcan dignity aside...

* * *

Spock escorted Nyota to her quarters. Once there, he helped her shower and shampoo the smoke out of her hair. He dried it for her and dressed her in her favorite pajamas, which were actually his. They were over-sized and looked ridiculous, but she said they were very comfortable and that he had broken them in nicely for her.

Spock gave Nyota fruit juice to drink and the medication that the doctor had ordered. He lay down with her until she was fast asleep. Then he got up and put his plan into action.

* * *

After returning the wheelchair to sickbay, Spock obtained a box from Supply. He took it down to the Rec Room. With Janice's help, he filled take-out containers with some of the choicest holiday morsels.

"Go heavy on the chocolate, Commander. Nyota is always sneaking chocolate desserts back to her quarters. I don't know how she manages to keep her girlish figure."

Spock understood quite well. First of all, she did not eat all of that chocolate alone. Secondly, she got plenty of exercise!

He added a few candy canes and some fudge to his collection, along with two Christmas Eve dinners he could heat up later. Lastly, he "liberated" one of the miniature decorated trees from the cookie table, and one of the stockings from the large tree. He did not believe that anyone would mind, given his worthy cause.

As Spock was on his way out the door, he spotted "Cupcake" passed out with his head lying on the table. The green elf hat he had been wearing all day had slipped off.

Jim had been watching Spock fill up his little box and knew what Vulcan had planned.

"Go ahead, Spock. Cupcake's not gonna miss that hat. Somehow it will look more at home on you, anyway. You are Santa's little helper, right? Wish Uhura a Merry Christmas for me."

"I will, Jim. Thank you." Spock added the elf hat to his collection and hurried back to Nyota's quarters. He had work to do before she woke up.

* * *

When Nyota woke up Christmas morning, she could not believe her eyes. A white sheet had been spread out on her quarters floor. There was a miniature decorated tree on top of it. A plate of cookies sat next to the tree and a Christmas stocking lay next to her on the bed.

Spock lay next to her with his eyes closed. She crawled out of bed to use the bathroom, hoping to not wake him. He immediately opened his eyes.

"I'll be right back."

While she was gone, Spock combed his hair and put on the elf hat. Nyota was about ready to climb back into bed when the door chime sounded. Spock answered, as he was dressed.

Outside in the corridor stood Jim, Bones, Scotty, Christine, Janice, Hikaru, Pavel, and a very hung-over "Cupcake". They were wearing Santa hats and red mufflers.

"We're caroling!" yelled Jim, who was obviously still drunk from the night before, as were most of the others.

Spock summoned Nyota, and they were treated to a rather off-key version of "The Twelve Days Of Christmas." It went on forever, as none of them could remember what verse they were on. Oh well, it's the thought that counts. Nyota gave them each a lollipop from her secret stash and sent them on their way.

She shut the door and laughed until her sides hurt.

"That was so sweet of them. Really badly done, mind you, but sweet. Now, where were we?"

"I believe, Nyota, that you were going to open your stocking."

Spock handed her the stocking that had been on the bed. She reached inside and found a small, wrapped box. The tag read "To Nyota, my Christmas Star." She opened the box and found a small, spun glass star pendant, set with a heart-shaped ruby.

"Oh, Spock. It's beautiful. Put it on for me, please."

He stood behind her, placed the chain around her neck, and fastened the tiny clasp.

"Now go sit down, beloved. I have something for you."

She went to her closet and produced a long, thin wrapped package. She handed it to Spock.

"Nyota, it was not necessary..."

"Yes, it was. Open it."

When Spock unwrapped his gift, he was very surprised.

"Nyota, this is a kolchak, a Vulcan wooden flute. How did you come by such a thing?"

"I bought it at Starbase 7, from Trekell, the young man we helped to get to the New Vulcan colony. He makes them."

"It is beautiful. I had one as a child. Thank you, beloved."

"You are most welcome, my love. So, tell me, What's with the elf hat?"

"You missed the Christmas Party last night, did you not?"

"True, I did."

"So you also missed your opportunity to sit on Santa's lap, yes?"

"Yes."

"Perhaps one of Santa's helper's would be an acceptable substitute."

Nyota walked over to the giant elf and sat on his lap.

"Next year we'll get you some of those slippers with bells."

She pulled off his hat and began to nibble on his ear.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Star Trek, I make no profit, and I still don't have my own little pointed-eared baby!

**Santa's Other Little Helper**

Kirsten Van Campen enjoyed her job as Head of the Personal Shopping division of Van Campen's Department Store. She had assumed that role when her mother retired a year ago. At Van Campen's, they took customer service to the utmost level. Their high-profile, deep-pocketed clientele appreciated this, along with the store staff's reputation for discretion. They would acquire anything a customer wanted, for a fee, provided that it was not illegal nor immoral.

The Vulcan Ambassador and the Embassy staff had been loyal Van Campen's customers for over forty years, ever since the Personal Shopping service began. It came as no surprise that Ambassador Sarek's son Spock preferred the same method of shopping. He was a cultured young gentleman and Starfleet officer, with exquisite taste. He sent her his list via subspace communication. Spock had chosen a few elegant and beautiful gifts for his wife and some expertly crafted, non-toxic educational toys for his infant son. The last item on the Commander's list was a total shock to Kirsten. However, he had stated his wishes most clearly, and the customer was always right.

* * *

Spock made his way to the cargo bay. Chief Larson was holding several packages for him down there. Some of these would be Christmas gifts form his or Nyota's family on Terra. He was hoping the the items he had ordered from Van Campen's Department Store in San Francisco would also be there. This would be his fourth Christmas on board the Enterprise.

"Good morning, Commander. You've hit the jackpot! I have six packages for you. One from Africa, one from Minnesota, two from New Vulcan, and two more from San Francisco. I'll lend you a trolley so you can take them all at once. "

Larson already had the packages loaded. He enjoyed this part of his job, interacting with happy crew members who were receiving something from home.

Spock examined the packages, looking for that special one. There it was, right on top.

"Thank you, Chief. That is is most appreciated."

"Not a problem, sir. Oh, I just remembered. It's your little guy's first Christmas. That should make it extra special for you and the missus. Well, Merry Christmas, sir."

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Chief."

* * *

Once in the family's quarters, Spock unloaded the packages. He put aside the large box from Van Campen's and placed four of the five other packages under the tree. Of course, he and Nyota did not set up an actual Christmas tree in their quarters. That would be both illogical and impractical, given the space constraints and the fact that there was a nine-month-old infant crawling around their quarters. Instead, they had designed a holographic image and projected it on the wall. Their son found it absolutely fascinating!

Spock opened the large box from his uncle and cousins in Minnesota. He was not surprised that it contained six jugs of Grayson's Finest Everclear. He would bring one to the Christmas Eve party scheduled for that night. There were also wrapped presents for himself, Nyota, and little Azizi.

Azizi! Spock had time for two more errands before he needed to pick his son up from the Childcare Center. He needed to return the trolley to Chief Larson and then stop in the ship's store to collect the items they were holding for him.

* * *

"Here you go, Commander. It's all here for you, and I put it in a basket, just like you requested. Tell Nyota and Azizi Merry Christmas for me."

"Thank you, Lt. Sanchez. I will do so. Merry Christmas to you."

* * *

"Sasa! Sasa!" Azizi crawled to his father at top speed. He lifted his arms. "Up, Sasa. Up!"

"Yes, my son, up!" Spock gathered his son into his arms and was rewarded with a noisy, wet kiss on his cheek. He hugged Azizi a little tighter. "How was he today, Petty Officer Alves?"

"He was a little angel, as usual, sir." Azizi was one of Jorge's favorites.

"His mother thinks the opposite is closer to the truth, that he is often a little devil!"

"Not Azizi! He's just intelligent and curious. I expect great things of him. Merry Christmas to your family, sir."

"And to yours." Spock shifted his load a bit. He had the backpack with Azizi's personal gear, the basket from the store, and of course Azizi.

"Let us go, my son. We have a few things to do before we go to the Christmas party. We will take these things to our quarters and get ready. Your mother should get off shift in a few minutes."

"Mama!"

* * *

Spock set Azizi in his playpen and the basket on the table. He opened up the backpack and dumped Azizi's soiled clothes into the laundry basket. The child seemed to go through three complete outfits everyday. Spock took a sonic shower and then got himself mostly ready for the party. He put on a clean t-shirt and casual trousers. There was no point in finishing until he had fed and changed his son. Azizi had an uncanny ability to begin spouting from any and every orifice of his body just when it was least convenient for his parents!

Nyota arrived in their quarters just as Spock finished giving Azizi his dinner.

"Mama! Mama!"

"There are my handsome men!" She gave Spock a hug and a kiss, and then spent several minutes cuddling Azizi.

"Okay, Mama needs to take a shower and get dressed. You be a good boy for Sasa and let him dress you too, okay?"

"'Kay, Mama!"

Spock cleaned the boy up and changed him into his new outfit from Van Campen's. He set him back in his playpen and finished dressing himself. He had put on a dark green turtleneck under a black sweater. All that remained were the finishing touches.

When Nyota came out of the bathroom, she burst into hysterical laughter at the sight of her son.

"Spock, I don't believe you did this! He'll be the hit of the party! Put the hat on him and I'll get the camera. We need a picture of this so we can embarrass him in front of a significant other someday!"

Spock complied with Nyota's wishes and put the hat on his son. He sat down on the bed, holding the boy on his lap. Nyota snapped several pictures.

"We need to send these to the family. Well, perhaps not to Sarek!"

"I suspect my father might also find this amusing. We should not exclude him. He is well acquainted with Terran humor."

Nyota quickly dressed herself in black trousers and a red sweater trimmed with white fur. She added a Santa hat to her ensemble.

"We'd better get going, Spock. Don't forget your own hat!"

* * *

The family got quite a few stares as they exited the turbo lift. It was not everyday that you witnessed a giant elf carrying his progeny through the corridors of a starship.

* * *

Leonard McCoy was not in the best of moods. For the fifth time in as many weeks, a crew member had contracted some unknown, alien virus. Fortunately, he had been able to quarantine the young woman and cure the infection before it spread throughout the ship.

Now he was tired and disagreeable, and expected to make an appearance at the ship's Christmas party. Well, it might not be total loss. Maybe Spock had gotten some more of that moonshine from his cousins. Those Grayson boys could brew some really fine hooch.

Though it had taken some time, Spock and Bones had finally become friends. They still argued their own positions of logic vs. emotionalism, but now they did it mostly because they enjoyed it and it was expected of them.

Spock had even come to regard the phrase "green-blooded, pointy-eared hobgoblin" as a term of affection, just as Jim saw it when Bones called him a "butt-headed, daredevil idiot with a death wish."

* * *

Azizi was indeed the hit of the Christmas party. He sat on his father's lap in the Rec Room, passing candy canes out to the guests. As each crew member received one, they would giggle and tell him "Merry Christmas Azizi!"

Azizi would clap his hands and laugh, causing his whole body to shake until the bells on his little green slippers jingled.

* * *

McCoy finally made it to the Rec Room. Over on a table with the other illicit beverages was the familiar blue and white jug he was seeking. He poured himself a generous amount and scanned the room for a friendly face.

Azizi spotted him first. For some reason, the grumpy doctor was one of the little guy's favorite people.

"'Coy! 'Coy!" Azizi clapped his hands and squealed with laughter.

"Where's my little buddy?" McCoy finally spotted the elvish family and doubled over in laughter. When he had finally settled down, he demanded "Give me my godson!"

Azizi held out his arms. "Up, 'Coy, up!"

McCoy took the little fellow, who gave him one of his famous wet, sloppy kisses. Suddenly the doctor's bad day was just a distant memory.

"Thanks, little guy. You gave me back my smile for Christmas. You really are Santa's little helper!"


	3. Chapter 3

Don't own, don't profit, and I didn't get that stuffed sehlat for Christmas. Santa has some 'splainin' to do!

**A Little Help For The Helper**

Spock knew it right there and then. Karma was not just a concept, but the truth. What goes around comes around. Spock enjoyed being the "cool" uncle, the one who gave a kid the toys no parent in full possession of his or her own faculties would give their own child. Nyota liked being "cool" too. Now it was coming back to haunt them.

All of their family and friends had been extremely generous for Azizi's first Christmas. Their son had received at least thirty gifts.

From Sarek, T'Sela, and T'Shana came a small stuffed reproduction of a sehlat that grunted when its stomach was squeezed. Spock believed that this was probably revenge for the stuffed sheep that played "Mary Had A Little Lamb" Nyota insisted on sending to T'Shana for her first birthday.

Alhamisi and M'Umbha sent a small kalimba or finger piano. Apparently Nyota had one as a child and drove them absolutely crazy with it.

Erevu and Marya gave Azizi a small set of bongo drums. Spock supposed that they were getting even for the kolchak (Vulcan wooden flutes) that he and Nyota had given their two boys.

Dafina and Martel must not have enjoyed the singing tribble toy Nyota found for Daysha. Perhaps that was why they sent the wind-up monkey with the clashing cymbals.

Spock was now regretting the fact that they had given Jason the robotic, roaring T. Rex, Hannah a book which made farm noises when you touched the animals, and T'Lonna a doll that said "mama" in seven languages. All of these are wonderful gifts when you don't have to live in the same house as the children who receive them. Sirin and Rachel sent Azizi a forty-piece zoo set as payback. All the little animals had sound chips and made the appropriate noises when picked up.

Precious Esther had made Azizi a little teddy bear quilt with squeakers sewn into the paws. She lived with Rachel and Sirin.

Jacob and Lydia Grayson must have still been annoyed by the musical aquarium Spock and Nyota had given little Aaron. That was probably why they sent the "shrieking" blocks, which made gleeful noises every time they were toppled.

Revenge for the musical "Twister" game must have been what Johnathan and Sarah had in mind when they sent the slide whistle. It tweeted at just the right frequency to set Spock's teeth on edge and made Nyota rub her forehead.

It seemed that Jim also relished the role of "cool" uncle. He gave Azizi a toy starship with actual Starfleet licensed sound effects. Azizi had already pressed the "red alert" button twice, nearly sending both his parent to their combat stations. Spock finally came up with a logical solution.

"My son, since this toy was a gift from Uncle Jim, let us save it for you to play with when you visit Uncle Jim's quarters."

Of all the Terran musical instruments, Spock found the bagpipes the most annoying. The toy stuffed sheep in a kilt playing a miniature set was given to Azizi by Scotty. Spock had thought the man was his friend.

Pavel and Hikaru had given the little boy an assortment of story books. Ah, nice quiet playthings. Unfortunately they also brought an assortment of Christmas cookies which Azizi got into while the adults were talking and exchanging gifts.

Now it was 1930 hours on Christmas Day. Spock and Nyota sat in their small quarters with a super intelligent nine-month old on a sugar high. Both were exhausted and had splitting headaches.

Just when Spock thought that he couldn't take any more, the door chime rang again.

"Oh no, now what?" asked Nyota. "Maybe a life-sized, trumpeting elephant?"

"I sincerely hope not."

Spock went to answer the door. Dr. Leonard McCoy stood there with a gift bag and a small bottle of pills.

Azizi spotted him and crawled over to him as fast as he could go.

"Coy! Up, Coy!"

Bones picked his godson up. "Hey little buddy! I brought you a present!"

Spock and Nyota held their breath as Azizi opened the gift.

The plain, old-fashioned teddy bear was a huge hit. Bones was rewarded with sloppy wet kiss and a big hug.

"I brought a gift for your Mama and Sasa, too."

He handed Nyota the bottle of acetaminophen.

"I still remember Joanna's first Christmas. My mother gave her a xylophone!"


End file.
